Backfire
by Zellarest
Summary: When Severus launches a plan, with reluctant partner in crime Lily, he doesn't get too far before the whole thing backfires in his face. He ends up taking an unexpected swim with the giant squid in freezing cold water as a reward, courtesy of the Marauders.


Written for Round One of the QFLC

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The day was one of the coldest that autumn as it quickly began to come to a close, the chilly wind biting at any exposed skin. Snow swirled around the courtyards like tiny tornadoes, covering the usually tan stone in glaring white. Fuming, he strode across the courtyard, the ice crunching loudly under his feet. The anger had festering and boiled to such a degree that he was suprised the snow didn't dissipate in his tow. But the thought didn't bother him long, for he then practically burst into the Great Hall, grumbling at a few students who sent him rude gestures, and spotted the head of red locks easily.

"Lily," he hissed, dropping down into the seat next to her.

She started, her eyes widening and her hand starting for something in her robes before she recognized him. "Oh Sev, quit scaring me like that." she laughed nervously, letting out a shaky breath. "What is it now?"

"You know what Lily. We're getting those wands, even if it kills me."

"I know you have a plan, and I'm sure it's wonderful, but can't we just talk with them first? They're proud, so they probably won't give them to us, but Remus might be on our side."

"_Our side_? Lily, listen to yourself. They are blights on society, on those like us. We're getting our wands back. _Today_," he spat, resigning himself to a piece of toast, scruntinizing it closely before taking a large bite.

With a sigh, she nodded, turning back to her breakfast without a word.

It wasn't a few hours later before they had met in the agreed meeting place—the sixth floor landing. Severus wasn't keen on barging into the Common Room, much less their dormitory. As a result, he was forced to assign Lily to the task of infiltrating their dormitory. Lily, however relunctantly, did agree that she was the only one to do it.

They discussed the plan again as they waited for the staircase to move again.

Severus turned to her after taking several deep breaths. "Now, what you do, is you open his trunk and tie this to latch, and this—"

Lily interrupted him in a high-pitched squeak of her voice, "We can't do that!" she bit her lip anxiously, fiddling with the hem of her vest. "Sev, I don't know about this... won't it look suspicious?"

"What?" he asked confusedly.

"Me! Going up to the boys' dormitories! I mean, I'm sure you could go in... no one really pays mind to who comes and goes all that often..." she trailed off near the end, her nose crinkling as it did when she worried.

"Lily," he snapped, reigning in his patience with difficulty. "I'm a Slytherin, the enemy! They'll see me from a mile away," he reminded her.

He watched the staircase swing around to them slowly, beginning to tap his foot with every passing second it took.

"But—"

He silenced her with a glare. "You have to do this." he finished firmly, thrusting the dungbomb into her hands. "It's disguised as a pouch of sweets. Not that he'll get to see it..." he added in a low mutter, scowling. "Just set it up like I showed you, grab the wands, and go. It's simple,"

"Oh all right! But you owe me, Sev." she sent him a half-hearted glare before turning swiftly away from him and stomping up the staircase.

With a huff, he turned after watching her recite the password to the portrait. It was only a few seconds later, however, that he heard voices.

"Evans! Fancy seeing you here. I thought you were in the library with dear old Snivellus."

_Potter,_ he thought with a harsh feeling of dread washing over him at the same time. He'd recognize that pompuous git's voice anywhere.

"How could you possibly know that?" she exclaimed.

"Oh, we watch you all the time, Evans." It was Black, this time. With a lower, more defined voice than Potter's, as always.

With a frown, he wondered if that Lupin was with them. He was quieter than the two, always with his nose in a book. The thought left his mind quickly with Potter's next words.

"Oh yes, we even know that Snivellus himself is right downstairs."

"Oh sh—" he began, but not before he was yanked abruptly up into the air by his ankles.

Potter made his way down the staircase with a lazy gait, smiling sweetly like a spider evaluating its prey. "Hello, Snivellus." he greeted brightly, wand held aloft.

Black stood at his side, observing him with a grin he could only describe as wild. He laughed, throwing back his head with a great bark. "Seems like we meet like this a lot, don't you think, Moony?" he said, looking to the boy behind them who looked at him with an expressionless face.

He gave no reply.

Severus struggled, but to no avail. "See, we know about your little plan. You really shouldn't leave your robes lying about like you do. People might... oh, cast a Surveillance Charm on it." Potter drawled, smiling wickedly.

"You arseholes!" he yelled, face a brilliant red.

"Oh, is Snivellus upset with us?" Black frowned.

Potter glanced to his partner, grinning widely. "I think we ought to make it up to him. A bath, you think? In the Black Lake, of course."

He matched his wicked grin with one of his own. "With pleasure, Prongs."

And with that, he was led down two dozens staircases, levitated in the air against his will as many students laughed and jeered, giving the perpetrators pats on the backs like they had accomplished something great. Fruitlessly he attempted to escape, spitting curses rapidly as they all laughed.

"Don't worry, you'll thank us later."

"Because god knows, you need this." Black taunted, flicking his wand lazily.

Severus was catapulted into the water with a great splash. The freezing cold water enveloped him immediately, his thick robes doing nothing against it. Without a moment's pause, he began panicking. Flailing his limbs furiously, he somehow made it to the surface and took in a lungful of air before coughing violently.

"Oh, and this?" Potter held up the velvety purple pouch for him to see. "Very nice, but try to disguise it better next time, will you? And get a new minion; Evans is much too fragile to be handling something so complicated."

Lily approached them bravely. "Give us back our wands, or I'll go to Professor McGonagall." she threatened, the insult only fueling her fury.

Severus dragged himself onto the thickly coated shore. He still coughed, spitting water from his lungs into the dirt. The icy water dripped steadily from his hair and off the tip of his nose, landing noiselessly on the ground and spattering the snow with equally cold dewdrops.

"Contain yourself, hothead. Here," his hand dove into his pocket to reveal two sticks of wood. With a smirk, he tossed them at her. "Consider this a kindness, on behalf of all of us."

Severus laughed, but it was more like a strangled cough. "You just don't want to... get busted by the professor."

Black ignored his point. "Try to get us again and you'll find yourself with worse than just a lungful of water and a bath with the giant squid, Snivellus."

They left without another word, Lupin smiling at them sadly.

"I thought... I thought he would do _something_," she whispered, hands clenched into fists at her sides.

With a snort, Severus snapped, "Well you thought wrong. He's a spineless fool, and you were wrong to trust him."

She stared at him wordlessly as he brought himself up to stand.

"I can't wait until we can finally _get_ them and wipe those cocky little smirks right off their faces. And then everyone will be laughing at them." he muttered bitterly, kicking up snow in anger.

"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia, you know..." she murmured quietly, watching him with sad eyes.

"Whatever. Let's go," he ordered.

He snatched his wand from her outstretched hand. With a scowl on his face, he began to walk away until he stopped in his tracks.

"And, Lily?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" she inquired curiously.

"Thanks. For helping me out back there."

She smiled brightly. "No problem, Sev."

"Now let's get you to Madame Pomfrey," she murmured, taking his arm and leading the way like he didn't already know.


End file.
